I'm Back

Well, I'm back.  It's been quite some time since I have been in the blog world of actually writting on my own blog instead of just reading stalking my fav blogs.  During my long vacation away from blogging, alot has been happening.  We quickly grew out of our home and moved over this past summer.  We have been in our new house since May and we are absolutely in love with it.  I realized today that it has been about 2 years (yes, TWO) since I have actually written on my blog.  I am ashamed people!  I have been trying to decide what direction I would like my blog to go in so I can commit myself to keeping up with it but I am really struggling with a direction that I want it to go in.  I have done a few furniture transformations, room transformations (the old house), about to tackle some new projects in the new house and am also pretty obsessed right now with finding some new beauty products, working on my health and the health of my children.  My children are not unhealthy however, I am a huge believer in teaching them how making the right choices now can really benefit them in the future.  Life as I know it has changed very much in the past year (for the better) or so and I am really excited about all of the changes.  Just really not sure what direction to go with in regards to my blog...  I guess for now, my blog will remain a bit about everything until I get a real feel for what I enjoy writting about most.  I look forward to being back and bringing you all into my crazy world of transformations, product reviews and life in general.  Are you ready for this rollercoaster ride? 

I have a few things in the works right now...  I am eagerly awaiting my new Hana Elite 1.5in. flat iron from Misikko.com.  I first read about this flat iron (I believe the 1 inch)  while reading a hair tutorial that MamaLaughlin did a few months back showing how she gets her beachy waves with a flat iron.  She is one smart cookie with amazing hair!  Since then, my CHI that I have had for over 11 years (pretty impressive my friends), has decided that she is done with my hair.  I wish she would have told me or at least provided me with a warning that she is quitting her job.  A flat iron that shorts out all of a sudden with no warning is like an airplane engine just pooping out at 30 thousand feet in the air.  Not good.  So, yesterday I purchased my Hana Elite flat iron and received confirmation that it is being shipped TODAY!  WHAT???  That is awesome.  Keep checking back for my review on this product.  I cannot tell you how excited I am about this purchase.  If there is one thing that I am obsessed with, it is my hair.  I have very thick hair and always like it looking it's best.  If this iron does what I think it will, I will be one happy consumer and may just need to rent out a billboard on the freeway to tell everyone about my new purchase.  ;)  I hear amazing reviews on the Hana Elite and can't wait for this puppy to arrive. 

I am also looking into possibly getting a fitbit.  Has anyone had one of these?  What are your reviews on the product.  I have heard some great things about them and feel like it would be similar to having a miniature little trainer clipped on my jeans that tells me how lazy I am where I stand each day in regards to calorie intake and movement.  I am confused though... how on earth does it know your calorie intake?  Do you put it in manually?  Will someone please enlighten me? 



Well, I need to stop blogging for today, I have lots to do.  I'm glad to be back and look forward to getting back into the swing of things. 

Excitement

Excitement! I can hardly control myself. I can't believe it! Woo hoo!!!!!

I have had this longing for the chance to start P90X. This deep down feeling inside my soul that has just wanted this challenge, this opportunity. A challenge. There is no other way to describe this type of workout. I have watched a dear friend challenge herself with this program. It has done amazing things for her and her husband. She has completely transformed her body. I admire her. She is a strong woman with such determination and strength both inside and out. I have to be honest, when ever I saw the infomercials for P90X, I thought to myself "yeah right, these are enhanced photos etc..." but after watching my friend go thru these changes, I HAD to have it. Even if I fail. Even if I can't physically do it. I can stand up (sore) and say that I tried my very best. But I won't fail. I can't.

Mariah motivates me. Her dedication to herself and her body inspires me. I have watched her go from "normal" (not too heavy and not too thin) and transform her body into something that she has so much pride in. She should. She does not look like a body builder, she does not look sculpted (like a man). She looks lean. She looks beautiful. Her skin has changed. She looks refreshed. I have not seen her in quite some time as she moved away about 2yrs ago but she has continued to blog her success with P90X and I am so happy and proud of her.

Okay, so...back to why I am so excited...

I have received P90X as a gift. A gift that I am so grateful for. I can't wait. As crazy as it sounds, I am going to start blogging about my progress. I know I have not blogged much but most of the time, I simply do not have the time to blog. I think if I dedicate myself to blogging about my experience as well as add my photos of my changes...I will be even more successful and will learn so much more. I will begin this challenge next week as I will be going out of town this holiday weekend and will not have the time nor place to start my workout. I will alternate excersize and do a bit of walking and hiking instead.

Keep your fingers crossed... ;)

Things I love..

I love my husband.
I love my kiddos.
I love a sunny day.
I love laying in bed next to my hubby during thunder storm.
I love to curl up on the couch and watch a good movie.
I love to watch my kids play outside with their friends...just being kids.
I love the sound of my kids laughing, playing and with eachother talking.
I love being in love.
I love life and am grateful for the one that I have been given.

Come on weekend

Is it Friday yet????? This week cannot end quick enough. I am looking forward to an entire week off next week with my daughters and it seems as thought time is standing still. I keep wishing it was Friday but apparently, it's not working.

So, at the beginning of each year, my company does a time off bid (as most companies do). Well, for me (being the super mom that I am) I tend to save all my vacation up for certain times where I know I can have all that time with my girls (time they are out of school). I get 5 weeks of paid vacation time...this means I have a week off in the summer for our annual summer vacation with my parents, a week off in November for Thanksgiving, a week off around Christmas (either the week of or week after, depending when I have them or their dad has them). Then, I am left with two weeks to use random days throughout the rest of the year. So, by the end of the year...I am done. pooped. exhausted. need a break. over it.

Anyway, this is it...this is the time of year that I have been waiting for...and it won't come quick enough. I am sure by the end of next week, I will be dying to get back to work and on schedule but let me tell you...I was a stay at home mom for 4.5 years and it was the BEST job that I ever had. I crave that time with my kids (unless they are being little PITA's) :) We (I) plan to clean house, declutter, reorganize (love this) and get my house all pretty and tidy. I believe it needs some much needed TLC. I can't wait. I love to clean. I love the feeling of walking in and knowing that if Martha Stewart came to my door...I would welcome her and give her the grand tour with no problem.

Till then, I wait. my kids wait. my house waits.

Weekend Wrap Up

Ahhh...what a WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!! Relaxation. Nature. Great food. BonFires. S'mores. Does it get any better that that?

This past weekend was Halloween weekend. We decided to take the kids out to Tex's family Ranch. We left Houston after work Friday evening and arrived at our final destination about 2.5hrs later. The minute we got out of the city traffic, it was like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders. Love it! We spent the weekend together with the kids enjoying life, being out doors. No stress. No worries. There are 350 acres to run thru, play on and enjoy. However....it was exactly one week before hunting season soooooo what that meant is no running thru the woods playing the in deer stands for the kiddos.....we got alot of booooo's for that one. We all had a blast together! It was still a much needed getaway. Sunday, we headed back home - it was Halloween time!!!! The kids got much (un needed) candy but thankfully, my kids are not huge candy eaters. We had such a great weekend together. Memories that just keep building...memories that will last a lifetime!

The picture shown at the top is just one of the many amazing views of the Ranch - this has become a very special place to me. It has become a place where I can figure out life... I love this place! I thank God that places like this still exsist...

Being the bigger person

Let's ask ourselves this question.... when do we stand up and be the bigger person??? No matter what the scenerio is, big or small...when do WE make that choice for ourselves? Well, my friends...I have done that. And I am sooooo proud of myself! It is truly a great feeling when you do the right thing.




Here is the deal...after finding out about my daughter being hurt by another child, it changed many aspects of life as we knew it. I now trust no one. I know this. My kids know this. My family knows this. Everyone knows this. It is what it is and this will not change. When you have children, you have a fear for people hurting your children (pedophiles) who are adults...you never fear another child for christ sake. Well, after all has been said and done, naturally...those who have done wrong are very quick to try to defend themselves. Tell lies. This exact thing has happened in our situation. People/neighbors which we have been friends with for quite some time oddly backed off. There were looks. There were whispers. It was awful. I knew I did not say anything to anyone about the situation - I wanted to protect my daughter and her privacy...our privacy as a family. BUT...this other mom, decided it would be a dandy idea to tell others what happened. Not such a spiffy idea in my mind.



Well, about two weekends ago...it all came to a head. People (adults) were not very nice to my daughter(s)...or to me. It was insane. Well, it was time to confront a few of those very immature, misinformed people. There were tears (of course on my part) as I still refused to give details about the events that happened (which I walked in on) but basically told them they were so wrong and misinformed about what was going on. Making them see that they are (or should be) adults and my daughter is 6...SIX!!!!!!! She was a victim. She did nothing wrong. I could not protect her now but I'll be damned if someone thinks even for a second that I won't protect my daughter(s) now. I did not know how things were going to be after that weekend.



Well, this past weekend, I took a stand once again but in a very possitive manner - mature fashion. There was a birthday party for another neighborhood kid. I looked at Tex and said "come on...let's go...let's do it". He looked at me in shock and said "okay, as long as you are comfortabe, I will be there with you" ( I so love this man...he is always by my side and always supports me ) I took a deep breath (put on a little lip gloss) and just walked over to the neighbors house and said hi. I was nervous. I wanted to vomit. My tummy hurt. :-o I was shaking. My heart was racing. I was soooo out of my comfort zone. No one outside responded... I went inside, I tried it again. I dislike conflict very much and did not want any issues. I was not there to cause problems. I was there for a friend and her sons birthday party. I came back outside and chit chatted for a bit with Tex and another neighbor. Anyway...it was like a switch was flipped. All of a sudden, that day - things felt okay. I felt okay. We were no longer shut out. Tex has not really been shut out regardless because these are his neighbors. But my daughters and I were no longer on the outside. WHEW! I initiated conversation. I acted as though things were okay. Normal. Next thing we know, we are invited to another neighbors house that evening. HUH??? ; ) This was a huge shock for me and for him.



I finally feel like I can let go of a little stress - my kids would feel that. They knew. They can finally start to be kids again. Play. Run. Laugh. Of course I am still VERY protective of them and that will not change but I can at least start to not be so up tight. My advice to you all...be the bigger person. What do you have to lose? Nothing. You have everything to gain. Pride in yourself. You would be amazed as to how this can make you feel. It is all about attitude.

Keep Calm and Carry On.... ;)

Therapy...

Therapy. Hmmm. This can be a very sensitive topic to many people. I don't see having to goto a "therapist" or a "counselor" a bad thing, it is just a very difficult step to take. First off, during my divorce I went to a counselor/therapist (whatever you want to call it) and had a wonderful experience. I remember walking into her office and not knowing what to expect. It was quiet, it was welcoming, calm music was playing. Not the dreaded elevator kind but more like Enya type. Very soothing to the soul. The lights were dim. It smelled nice. I was comfortable. I was calm. Well, therapy went very good for me at that time. I had great feeling about it. It helped me. I would go back...but she does not work with children (damn).

Wellllllllllll.....yesterday was a completely different story. Let me paint this picture for you. I pull up to this building and could not figure out where I needed to go. It was in a older part of this town we were in so it seemed a little run down and old. Not dangerous...just OLD. This womans daughter has a holistic shop downstairs but there was no direction as to where WE should be going. The door was open. We walked in. We were in the holistic shop. It was quiet. No one was there. There was a staircase...I started to walk up the stairs... My kids were scared. They wanted to leave. We proceeded up the stairs and saw there was a clipboard on the table with all of my daughters information on it. I grabbed it. Filled it out. Waited. OMG! It was as though I had traveled back in time - it was the 70's!!!! Anyway, out walked a teenager with this woman. She said "hi" and walked into another room. We waited. She came back out and looked at my information. She asked that my youngest and I step into another room but my oldest (who is only 8yrs old) had to wait by herself in this other area. OMG!!!! In a nut shell...this therapist spilled her tea all over the office floor - TWICE (for all I know, it was whiskey and coke) lol - she would not let my youngest goto the restroom and told her that she needed to do that before therapy...not during, she had me talk about the issue at hand right infront of my little girl. It was hard. I cried. To see my little girl sitting there, with her eyes held tightly closed, her fingers in her ears - it tore me apart. I did not feel as though we needed to go over what she experienced right infront of her. UGH! She was not at all what I expected.

I feel like I am back at square one and don't know where to turn.... (breathe) I believe I need to continue to search for the right therapist for us because I can assure you that this old building with a musty smell is NOT somewhere that we belong. Not at all...

Keep Calm and Carry On...

Keep Calm and Carry On...

What a very interesting phrase. I found this book on another bloggers site today and it caught my attention. I sat there. I looked at it. I processed what it said. It was simple. I felt as though I fell upon this blog for a reason. I have not blogged since my last post for a reason. I have been at a loss for words and did not quite know what to say on my page. However, I know for me, for my daughter, for my family...I must keep calm and carry on.

We have our very first counseling appointment today. I am scared. I am worried. I still have so much anger inside me but I hope I can get over that soon. Things will get better, I know it in my heart. Today has to be that day. Today has to be the day things start to get better.

Anger....guilt

Anger. Is this even enough to describe what I am feeling? Today, I am angry. I am so mad, I could scream. Inside, I am crying...I am screaming...I am hurt...I am ANGRY! A few weeks ago, I found out something horrible...something unimagineable. I found out that someone (another child - girl, 4yrs older than my daughter) was hurting my daughter. I am furious. I am crying inside for my little baby. How do I get over this anger? How do I move on? It has consumed me. How can I help her when I can't even help myself? How do I know she is okay. I mean, really okay. It has flipped our lives upside down. I trust no one. I have hate built up inside me. I have guilt thought I know I shouldn't. I wish this whole situation would go away. I wish this other child would go away. I have never been this angry in my life. I wish I could just say so much to this other child but I have to remember that she is still a kid. I hate her. I see her face when I drive. When I sleep. When I work. I see her everywhere. I want to write her a letter. I want her to understand what she has done. I hate feeling this way. I want to wake up from this nightmare. Please tell me I am asleep...please.

LOVE

Love... love can mean so many things. People use this word to describe their feelings toward another person, a material item, a car, a color and even a food. A great example of this is the love that I carry deep inside my heart (and tummy) for....CHOCOLATE! OH MY GOODNESS! I can't get enough. However, since beginning to change my eating habits, I have not had any mini Hershey's or Dove Caramel Promises since the beginning of August. I have lost 8lb so far and am so excited. How in the world does a girl replace this love that sits deep within her heart? Well, ladies...let me tell you EXACTLY how this can be done. It is the ULTIMATE chocolate...it is a chocolate that never goes away...it is a chocolate that SPARKLES! Yes, I said "SPARKLES". It is the CHOCOLATE DIAMOND!



I am so happy to say that I am now engaged and have chocolate diamonds wrapped around my finger and the perfect man wrapped around my heart...life is great!

Tex proposed to me on 8/14/2010

I love this man with all my heart...

Friends...

friend
(noun)
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.



I have AMAZING friends. I find myself surrounded by friends who truly care about me and my daughters. Friends who would do anything for me. I have friends who would even kill these TEXAS SIZED TREE ROACHES which are so common. ICK! In the past few years, I have have really learned what the TRUE meaning of friendship is. I believe anyone who has gone thru a move (to another state), a break up or a divorce really learns the true meaning of friendship very quickly. Ten years ago, I moved to Texas from Illinois..not knowing a single soul. Sure, I moved here and made "work friends" but really had no REAL friends that I could go out to dinner with, talk to or hang out with. I found myself surrounded by wives of my husband (at the time) and had nothing in common with any of them except watching the guys play softball and drink beer (and tons of it).



Since my divorce, needless to say, I do not speak with any of those wives who claimed to be friends with me. In this past 2 years, I have made some AMAZING friends....friends who are like a family to me. I am so grateful to have so many friends surrounding me who are just as loving and caring as I am. I am so blessed to have this circle of friends...you all know who you are! I love each of you and thank you for being the amazing friends that you are...

My Carriage turns into a Pumpkin at 11:00pm

Okay, allow me to amuse you... (again, this blog entry all ties into my page title)

So, during my divorce (oh, what an ugly ugly time) my "husband" at the time was trying to figure out (with the assistance of his BITCH attorney) how to continue to control my every move. Well, he sure got his money's worth out of her...she was able to locate a "Morals Clause" for him to add into our decree. You see, he had this major fear that I would have a boyfriend and want to sleep over there with my girls or possibly have him stay at my house. So, to ensure that THAT would NEVER happen, he was able to have this clause added into our decree. Now, for the record, before I continue and before anyone can pass judgement on me....I am ALL FOR protecting my children, there is no question about that. I live and breathe for my daughters. I DO NOT however, need my EX or the State of Texas telling me that I an not "ALLOWED" to have "anyone with whom I am having an intimate dating relationship with; in the place in which I reside (when my children are present) between the hours of 11pm and 6am". What this means is that if my daughters and I are anywhere (does not matter if it is my house or a friends house etc..) and my boyfriend is present...well guess what, we have the leave by 11pm OR I can get in some serious legal trouble and be held in contempt of court!!!! Do you believe this hogwash???? Like I said, I can understand the reasons for this, there are so many dangerous people out there but for christ sake!!! I have to be penalized for some irresponsible parenting by people who have shown reasons for such a clause to be added into their decree. Not to mention the perverts out there (yep, I am watching you on watchdog.com and all the DPS website to know where all the pedophiles are located). I did it before I moved to know if there were any close to my house, school, church etc.. and will continue to do this to be an informed parent to again, protect my children.

Anyway, a couple years later...I of course find myself in a serious relationship which has been with an amazing man (I will refer to him as Tex). I find myself having to say 'sorry babe, we gotta go...it's 11pm". Geeez

Well, I was able to get over it and Tex is so supportive of my situation as he is also a divorced parent. He does not have this "clause" however, he understands the control factor as his ex was pretty controling herself. As the months passed, we were able to figure life out and figure out how we could spend some time together "sleepovers" if you will. Things were working great, we had our "program"...the weekends that my kids were with their dad, I would spend that weekend with Tex and his daughter. It was great! Well, well, well...Mr. Control decided that THIS was not going to happen. Can you guess what happened next? After being stalked, having my car scratched etc... Mr. Control decided that he would stop seeing his kids. Yes, I said STOP SEEING HIS KIDS to ensure that I could never sleep over at Tex's house again!!!! He is a class act for sure.

Can someone please shed light as to why someone would do this????? My heart breaks for my kids as they have done nothing wrong and of course don't understand. I can't imagine not seeing or talking to my kids.

My Story...

My story... Ahhh yes, a story it is. How long do you have??? Well, I will do my best to give my cliff notes version though I have to say...I write like I talk so the chance of this being short is slim to none. Let me start off by giving you a few facts about me...

My name is Amie (it's not Amy, Aimee, Arnie or Annie or oddly enough...it's not Army)
I am 32yrs old and forget my age often (I think I am in denial)
I am a mom to two wonderful little girls ages 6yr. and 8yr. (they are my life)
I am divorced (this is a story in itself)
I have met the most amazing man that any woman could ever hope or wish for and am the happiest I have ever been (this is where my blog heading comes into play) :)

I was born in Chicago but by the grace of god, I live in Texas...needless to say, I am often called a Yankee. ;)

The things I love (beside the obvious...kids, boyfriend, family etc..):
Laughing
Loving
Joking
Smiling
Hugs & Kisses (and lots of them)
Swimming
Friends
Sun
Rain
Snow
Cleaning
A Clean Car
Cooking
Baking
Shopping
Taking care of those I love!

Life has been pretty hectic for me in the past however, thru counseling, blogging and talking (which I do alot of) to friends and those very close to me...I have finally been able to get myself into a place where life is just not as crazy and out of control as it once was.

This is me...

I am sure you will learn much more about me as I continue to blog but for now, I have so much more to say than to tell you all about ME.

The Beginning....

Hi. For those of you who are new to my blogging page, welcome. For those of you who have visited before, as you can see, I have changed things around (deleted everything). I am taking my blogging down a different path. When I originally started my blog, it was based soley on my weight loss goals and my road to get there however, I have found that it is time to change things up a bit. I will still be blogging about my weight loss journey but my main blogging will simply be about life in general...my story, if you will.

I am typically a very "to myself" kinda girl however, I was introduced to the blogging world by a friend and have found it VERY interesting (or addicting, depends on how you look at it - LOL). I have come across the most interesting blogs...blogs that make me laugh, smile or cry...blogs about changing your life and getting fit...blogs about heartbreak...blogs about loss...blogs about love and blogs simply about life. The blogs that I follow are those of amazing women out there who have a story to tell. I thank each of you for taking time out of your lives to share your story with the world...it is so inspiring and at times when I struggle with things in my own life, I can just reach into someone elses world for a minute and leave my worries behind. For that...thank you!